Heart of Lightness

The following is overflow copy from "Heart of Lightness," by Margi Dashevsky '05 in the fall 2006 Putney Post. Although the parts we did print ran to ten pages with photos, here is additional refreshing perspective on our world through the eyes a recent alum who decided to travel for a year before entering Dartmouth as a freshman. See the Putney Post story by clicking here .

Hello Putney friends!
You'll never guess where I'm writing from! I'm in Moldova (a tiny country between Romania and Ukraine). I've been here for a week with some relatives (one is stationed here with the Peace Corps and the other has been doing family roots research). It's been really neat- things are so very different from other places I've been.

If you don't know already, I'm taking a year off before I go to Dartmouth and am going to spend this time traveling. I'm headed to Zambia this fall and Costa Rica this spring. I'm planning to send out periodic e-mails about what I've been up to and if you're interested in being added to my list let me know!

I hope you're all doing really well.
Margi

10/03/05
My dear family and friends!
It would be oh so nice to talk with all of you, or at least write you personalized e-mails, but unfortunately this group mailing is going to have to do for now. I'll attempt to fill you in about the crazy things I've been up to since I plunged into this "gap year." For those who don't know- I'm taking a year off before I go to Dartmouth next September. I'm still finding it hard to believe that I'm actually doing this, knowing most of my friends are starting college.

I know that all of you have busy lives of your own, so most probably don't have time, or interest, to read every word of what I've written. This is kind of a journal for myself so it's lengthy. I've tried to include headings so you can skim for what interests you, and for those who are interested I hope you enjoy the details.

MOLDOVA
I left the U.S. on September 11th and crossed the Atlantic Ocean with Bob Dashevsky (my second cousin, once removed, who is more like an uncle and lives in Springfield, MA) to Moldova-an obscure, little country that is sandwiched between Romania and Ukraine. Known as Moldavia under the Soviet Union, Moldova is about the size of Pennsylvania. Our pull to this far-off corner of the world was Bob's interest in genealogical research and the knowledge that several of our ancestors emigrated from that area.

During our ten-day stay in Moldova we lived with another cousin, Carol Gordenstein, in the capital city, Chisinau (pronounced KEESH-i-now). Carol is stationed there, working with the management side of the Peace Corps. During our stay I was able to meet several volunteers and get a look at what the Peace Corps is about. We also explored the city and a few of the nearby villages while we tried to soak up and understand this new culture-very interesting since I had never been to Eastern Europe. One of the highlights of the trip was when we made a grand, two-day, expedition out of Moldova, to a tiny village in Ukraine called Velyka Mikailivka. This is the place my great grandmother, Lena, came from in 1907. We went there searching for more information about Lena, her family, and the time and place they lived.

UKRAINE
We drove out of Chisinau, through Transnistria (a disputed territory that functions independently from Moldova but is not recognized as a country-it's where all the Russians went when Moldova came out of the Soviet Union in 1991), and then into Ukraine. This sounds simple enough but actually involved crossing through a total of a dozen check-points, which were full of men strutting about in various uniforms, carrying large guns. There were six check-points just going there: first the Moldovan border, then the Russian "peace keepers," next the Transnistrians when we entered Transnistria, and then again when we left Transnistria, the Russians again, and finally the Ukrainians when we returned to a, relatively, lawful country and entered Ukraine. After the first few stops I was no longer tensely gripping the edge of my seat and by the end I felt almost comfortable. We made it through relatively smoothly after paying several mysterious fees and "taxes."

In Ukraine we drove through rolling farmland and scattered villages until we came to Velyka Mikhailivka. We got right to work, hoping to find town records about our relatives. We didn't have much luck because it turned out most of the records about Jews were destroyed in WWII, and those that weren't were moved to larger towns, like Odessa. However, with the help of our excellent guide/translator/proud Moldovan, Andrei, we were able to talk to some locals and find some of what we were seeking.

We spent an unpleasant night (now that's an understatement!) in a super sketchy hotel- complete with ratty sheets, stained mattress, biting somethings (bed bugs?!), saggy bed springs, nasty bathrooms, barely functional lock, and blaring music from the bar/disco below until 4am. We were all too happy to leave the next morning to visit the home of a local historian and author.

Olga, a true Soviet woman and author of two books, welcomed us into her two-room apartment. Olga treated us to true, Ukrainian hospitality. She piled the table high with food, which she insisted we eat, and we drank several toasts to Stalin, our health, and our futures with glasses of fluorescent pink liquid. Through Andrei she told us about the history of the area and then pulled out a list of names. She had gotten this list from her friend, who had gotten it from her father, who had gotten it from someone else, who had gathered the of names of people the Nazis had killed during the war. This list found its way into our hands and on it we found the names of two of our ancestors- Bob's great-aunt and uncle. Bob had heard that they had stayed behind when the rest of their family fled. They could not bear to leave behind everything they had invested their lives' work in: their home, cows, chickens. The list confirmed that this indeed was the town Lena had come from. We left with full tummies, a photo-copy of the list, and carrying several copies of both her books.

VISIT TO UKRAINIAN SCHOOLS
On our way out of town we visited English classes at the two schools. At each school we answered the students' questions and asked some questions in return. Once we got past the initial hesitation and standard questions we had some very interesting, spontaneous conversations. I really enjoyed being able to talk with the students and get some insight into their lives and aspirations (many want to be economists) and also tell them a bit about myself.

They were all very proud of their country and wanted to know what Americans think about Ukraine. They also wanted to know if I had heard about their "revolution." After an awkward moment I realized that this is what they call their election earlier this year. They were happy to hear that it had been on American TV and in the newspapers. I also tried to convey how it had been portrayed as the good guy, the western-oriented Yushenko, vs. the corrupt dictator and also how sensationalized it became when Yushenko was poisoned. We asked how many students thought things have gotten better since the revolution and only a few raised their hands-most thought things were actually worse. It seems that they are resentful and impatient with the instability that comes with any change, even if it's for good ideals. They were also eager to hear about life in the U.S. and were shocked to hear that the legal drinking age is 21!

The situation in Moldova and Ukraine was depressing at times- with high unemployment, low salaries, few opportunities, not many plans for the future, and often an apathetic mentality. However, visiting the students left me feeling even more optimistic, and with a pocket full of eager pen pals' addresses.

SOME PEOPLE WE TALKED TO IN UKRAINE
Oxana, a middle-aged woman with two daughters (an 18-year-old with one child and another on the way, and a 15-year-old), volunteered to show us around town. We walked to the partially demolished Jewish Cemetary, which stood in sharp contrast to the gated, Orthodox cemetary across the road. She pointed out the street most of the Jews had lived on (who were once a majority in town, but are all long gone by now), and then where the three rich brothers, who once owned all the land, had lived. She also brought us to a grassy knoll, that overlooked the river valley and town, where she said the Nazis had taken people to be killed during the war. A horse was grazing nearby, dwarfed in the shadow of a Soviet-era factory that had never gotten past being an empty shell.

Valentina, a large woman in her seventies, with a sparkling, youthful smile, told us a powerful story of how her family fled the village with the Nazis in close pursuit when she was 12 years old. Their wagon broke down and some Jews stopped to help them. For the next several months her family lived on the go, pressing eastward, just a step ahead of the advancing Germans, praying for the end of the war, while they depended on the generosity of the locals. Half a century later, the memories still filled her voice with emotion and brought tears to her eyes.

SOME CULTURAL OBSERVATIONS
Outward Appearance
One of the things that was immediately apparent when we arrived in Moldova was how well people dressed and how infrequently they smiled. Everyone wore nice clothing, even women sweeping the streets. In addition to the dressy clothes, pointy-toed shoes were everywhere. Women wore treacherous high heels, and even most men would wear shoes with elongated, narrow toes. Needless to say, I felt out of place in my t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. Additionally, smiling was not the norm. We would be walking down the street and I would self-consciously try to wipe the default expression off of my face, realizing how much it made me stand out. Once I got past the status of being a stranger with some people I confirmed that underneath the cold front people were very warm and smiles and laughs came often. Perhaps this attitude towards strangers is partly a survival mentality of a country used to being oppressed.

Some History
Starting way back in the 16th century Moldova has been tossed about between oppressors-starting as Bessarabia it was overtaken by the Ottoman Empire, then Russia, Romania, Soviet Union, back to Romania, and then in 1991, it became Moldova. This partly explained what I saw as a superficial lack of a Moldovan identity. Under Stalin a concerted effort was made to take away this identity by deporting ethnic Romanians (who now make up ~ 60% of population) and encouraging the influx of Russians and Ukrainians (~13% each). Once again, I felt that when I got past the surface I discovered a rich culture beneath the cold, stern front. This included elaborate woodcarving, beautiful black pottery, metal work, tapestries, woven baskets, traditional, embroidered clothing, cultural dancing, and other customs.

Romanian is now the official language in Moldova though many, if not most, people also speak Russian. Billboards are generally in Romanian, but walking down the street I could also pick out a lot of Russian being spoken.

Having never visited a former Soviet State before, this aspect of the history was particularly interesting for me. I was surprised when I heard several people say things were better under the Soviets than they are now. How could they say this about a regime that, in addition to many other things, tried to wipe out their cultural identity, forced the Cyrillic alphabet on their language, deported thousands of landowners and educated people, and collectivized agriculture which led to a famine that killed 100,000 Moldovans?! Many Moldovans spent most of their life behind the iron curtain and during that time they had a stability and security they no longer have. Under the Soviets schools were better, food was less expensive, retirement pensions were more than enough to get by on.

My Take on the Situation
The European Union has classified Moldova as the poorest European country, but we didn't see much of this aspect of the country. We spent most of our time in the city, and were also there during the harvest season, the time of plenty. The outdoor markets were piled high with huge assortments of colorful fruits and vegetables- they claim they are all organic, but for the most part this is because farmers can't afford the chemicals. Grapes were particularly abundant, and Moldova is known for its wines. But it didn't take too much imagination to picture this region in the bleak winter when all that remains from the harvest are cabbages, carrots, and potatoes. In the villages homes are often without heat or plumbing and one Peace Corps volunteer told us that more than 60% of village wells are polluted with heavy metals, microorganisms, and chemicals. This same volunteer also told us that people are also statistically less healthy if they live near a lake, river, or other body of water.

One of the most frustrating and hardest things for me to understand is the mentality of resignation and seeming lack of motivation many people seem to have with regards to their situation. When I come up against something that I don't like or doesn't seem right I look for ways to improve the situation. But there, apathy seemed to be the norm. Perhaps once again it is left over from Soviet times when it was best to keep a low profile and play by the rules. However, in a country trying to get back on its feet, despite many set-backs, this hardly seems like a beneficial mindset. Talking with Peace Corps volunteers the prospects seem bleak for government-run social programs or any environmental conservation. Many organizations seem to be stagnant, waiting for things to get better, while they barely keep their noses above the water.

BRIEF RETURN TO U.S.
Since air fares are completely illogical, I ended up flying to NYC, instead of heading straight to my next destination, Zambia. I was able to save several thousand dollars by spending four days in New York City! This turned out to be very nice, and I was able to meet up with a friend and spend time with relatives from both sides of the family. I also went with some cousins to Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty, which felt particularly fitting-coming from the homeland of my great-grandparents to the sights that welcomed them to their new lives.

I don't know what my ancestors from Velyka Mikhailivka would have thought if they knew we returned to their village that they worked so hard to leave. It was amazing to look into the faces of the Ukrainian children at the school and know that four generations ago my great-grandmother was one of them.

ZAMBIA
So now I'm in Zambia!! I'm living in the capital city, Lusaka, with a wonderful family from Fairbanks-Steve Gerrish and Nelique Brons who have two great kids, Hannah (9) and Brons (6). I've been here just under a week so it's too soon to tell you much about Zambia yet-there's so much that I haven't seen, and what I have seen I don't really understand in context. I've visited some schools and an orphanage and it looks like I'll be able to have plenty of work to keep me busy. There is a lot of need here and it seems that there are plenty of organizations around that would be happy to have my help, it's just a matter of deciding how I want to spend my time, and what will be most helpful. I'm looking forward to having several months here to really get to know some people and help out on a regular basis. I will be here until sometime in December.

I hope the length of this wasn't too daunting and you were able to read the parts of interest. I hope things are going well for all of you and I would love to hear what you're up to. I'll be thinking about you! Love, Margi
Read the rest of Margi's Zambia adventure here.

4/16/06
¡Hola mis amigos y familia!
Well I haven't fallen off of the edge of the world in my wanderings, like you might have supposed considering my lack of communication. I've actually been hiding out on a mountaintop in the cloud forest of Costa Rica! (It's been way too long since my last correspondence, so I'm going to go ahead and send this off, but just to warn you due to the wee hour of the morning it has rapidly become this may not quite be the up to par with my previous e-mails, but hey, better than nothing!)

So after spending a wonderful month and a half in Fairbanks and visiting family in CO and WY, I headed off again in mid-February and found my way here, to Monteverde, Costa Rica.

The Town
Monteverde is a pretty unique little spot - nestled on the side of the mountains that form the Costa Rican continental divide - it's a 4+ hour bus ride north west from San Jose. The human history includes some ancient indigenous people who would live here seasonally, some early tico (Costa Rican) farmers, and then a community of American Quakers who came in the 50's looking for a place to live that would nurture their values and way of life after some run-ins with a peace-time draft in the U.S. The Quakers turned to dairy farming as a livelihood and the cheese factory they began continues to attract truck loads of fresh milk from the surrounding area every morning, and in return sends wonderful chunks of cheese all around the country.

As a result of some of the early development and infrastructure the Quakers helped bring about Monteverde has been a convenient base for scientists wanting to access and study the unique ecosystems of the cloud forest (less than 2% of the earth is considered to be cloud forest, and about half of that is second growth). As development has continued not only the scientists have been attracted to this little strip of land, brim full of biodiversity, but the ecotourists as well. As a result, in the last 30 years the town has boomed- from having a handful of cars on the whole mountain to having bus-loads of tourists coming and going all the time. A tourism boom like this provides a lot of jobs and opportunities for people in the surrounding areas but having the vast majority of all jobs based on milking the tourists (vs. the cows, like before) puts everything at the mercy of the frequent fluctuations in tourism. There's also the whole issue about responsible development and preserving the natural systems that are attracting all these hordes of people. On the surface Monteverde seems like the perfect example of a place that values responsible ecotourism with many organizations working for big ideals, like sustainability and community developement, but not too far under the surface they are struggling with issues like water shortages, sanitation, and trash disposal, just like anywhere else that goes through such a huge boom.

The Forest
It's called the cloud forest and particularly during my first few weeks here it was quite apparent why. Being high up on the mountain there were many days we would wake up to find ourselves inside a cloud -- encased in fine, white mist. The clouds would rush by or faces or just over the tree tops, while the bright, tropical sun would shine in blue skies up above. As you might imagine this type of weather pattern is ideal for rainbows - huge arcs, double rainbows, fragments dancing along the road just ahead of you… Anyone who is searching the end of a rainbow in hopes of finding treasure might want to try their luck here in Monteverde. Although I never saw the pot of gold I saw enough tails of rainbows burrowing themselves into the treetops that I came to the conclusion that this land and forest here must be the treasure we've been seeking.

The result of frequently living in the clouds, in addition to creating a lot of rainbows, is a lot of precipitation, often felt as a sideways rainfall of cold mist being blown against your face. As a result, epiphytic plants (plants that grow on top of other plants and trees that aren't parasites - they receive their nutrients from falling organic matter and rain) thrive here. Huge trees will be draped with hundreds of other plants and it's not uncommon to see a massive branch on the ground that was unable to support the growing weight of its residents and came crashing down. In woods in Fairbanks we have our bushy undergrowth and then our tall, thin poplars and birches with their branches and leaves clustered at the top which creates this open feeling, middle section of tree trunks, through which you can see pretty far. Whereas here the thick, lush vegetation continues at all levels, everywhere - making for very limited vision and an overwhelming, sensory overload for this little girl from the far north. Walking in the forest it's amazing the filtering and processing our brains have to do because you know that what you're actually seeing and therefore experiencing is only a tiny fraction of the seemingly infinite layers of life that surround you.

They say the vast majority of the earth's biodiversity is found in a few small areas in the tropics, like Monteverde, and it's not hard to believe that when I'm surrounded by the cacophony of different sounds and admiring the variations in every little beetle that makes it's way across my arm.

Life is particularly diverse here because of a combination of factors. A huge one is geographic location. Costa Rica and Panama form this thin bridge between two huge continents that didn't used to be connected. Animals evolved independently in North America and South America and when the two became joined some of the animals used the bridge to cross over (ex. Armadillos from the south and the big cats from the north…). Costa Rica is in the overlap area benefiting from diversity from both continents. Additionally, the climates on the two sides of the country (Caribbean and Atlantic coasts) vary significantly meaning. This means two drastically different ecosystems come in contact here since Monteverde is on the continental divide, adding to even more diversity to these amazing forests.

I've been hiking around quite a bit (actually spent the last few nights camping out in the middle of the jungle under the full moon…) and it's exciting to be getting familiar with the grand assortment of exotic life forms - from orchids, to toucans, to agoutis (like giant guinea pigs, or mini capybaras), to tarantulas, to monkeys… Learning about some of the amazingly intricate relationships between different species has also been fascinating.

What I've Been Up To
So I came to Monteverde specifically because I spent 10 days here last March on a school trip, that was organized by the Monteverde Research Institute. We stayed with host families and each day was packed full of awesome trips to visit projects working for sustainable development, a coffee cooperative, a women's group, and hikes in the forest with local scientists. So I came in with some pretty high expectations hoping to fill my three months with similar activities and potential volunteer work.

Before I left home I made arrangements with some people I had met at the Institute and they set me up with a host family and a project to start in on. As it turned out though, it wasn't very good timing with the Institute as they're going through a big transition phase - switch over in director/financial crisis/revaluation and reprioritizing. Since they didn't have many projects running at the time I started out working at the Institute's Community Art Center where I helped out in the gallery that sold local art work and started some after school pottery classes for local kids (who for the most part turned out to be Americans from the Friend's school - fun, but not quite what I had in mind). Additionally, after a few weeks of struggling to get the classes up and running (students were in short supply) it became apparent that the Institute was no longer interested in supporting the Art Center. This was understandable, seeing that it was spending more than it was earning, but really a shame they weren't interested in making the necessary investment that would get it back up on it's feet because it's a wonderful space with a lot of potential. The prospects of spending my limited time working for a project that was doomed to end in the near future (the center is now officially closed) wasn't so exciting to me so I started exploring around the area some more looking for other volunteer opportunities.

It was surprising to me how difficult it was to find the type of work I was looking for. On the surface Monteverde has all sorts of awesome projects going on, but when I actually started making my rounds, visiting the various places and seeing what type of work they have for volunteers I found that for people like me, who come independent of a specific project or organization, it takes some serious determination to find work that's more than manning the gift shop or reception area in the name of a good cause. Not quite the outdoor work learning about local issues, ecology, etc. that I'd hoped to find. It's wonderful that there are so many projects around, but it's a shame that they aren't better set up to utilize this constant flow of potential short-term volunteers that come through here. I've met several people, like myself, who have enthusiasm and good skills to offer but have come across similar challenges in finding a good project. So after wandering around for a little while I came upon the Monteverde Butterfly Garden, where I've been volunteering for the past month. It has actually worked out really well.

The Butterfly Garden
It's a pretty neat program they've got going on here at the garden. It was founded 15 years ago by Jim Wolfe, an American biologist (actually a friend of my dad's from Colorado College!). Jim has been living here in Monteverde for the past 30 years and is married to an awesome Costa Rican woman, Marta. They've set up this garden as a sort of nature education center for tourists - teaching about butterflies and all sorts of Costa Rican arthropods (from tarantulas, to cockroaches, to scarab beetles, and walking sticks!) - trying to entertain but also share our appreciation and value for these "creepy crawlers" and the environment in general. They have tour groups and independent tourists coming through 9am-4pm, seven days a week, and volunteers, like myself, taking the groups around the garden and sharing some neat tid-bits of information. I showed up at the garden one day to scope things out, studied the next day- followed a bunch of tours, read some articles, and by my second day I was giving 30 minute tour through our four gardens (each represents a different habitat), telling the tourists about our 20, or so, different species of butterflies and our leaf cutter ant colony (my personal favorite) like I was an expert! It's actually pretty funny how convincing an act we put on. By my second day I was being asked if I studied entomology in college! I guess it's all about acting like you know what you're talking about and, for the most part, no one will know any different. We also have a 45 minute indoor section (that I started doing by my third day) where we have all sorts of live examples of Costa Rican arthropods that among other things include tarantulas that we hold, scorpions with babies on their backs, an elephant beetle (biggest type of beetle in the world) that is nearly as big as my hand, millipedes, and gigantic cockroaches (did you know they can survive without their head?! They can crawl around, mate, and even lay eggs without a head, but after 10 days, or so, they die or starvation!) In addition to learning all sorts of crazy bug trivia, it's great learning about all the neat adaptations, as well as the fascinating ecological relationships between different species (mimicry, symbiotic relationships, defense strategies…) Although the learning curve slowed down significantly after the first week or so we're always looking things up and learning new things so it's a fun discovery process. In return for our work we get free room and board and they get next to free labor, and native English speakers for guides. So it's a good system for all involved, and the people I've been working with have been super fun. So yes, after spending my first month living with a host family (that didn't turn out to be such a comfortable situation…) I've been living in a butterfly garden! And the vast majority of the creepy crawlers we have on display have been found by us volunteers who are around here at night when the place comes alive. I swear that for a while there we were adding another scorpion to the cage every night!

Such a Contrast to My Time in Zambia…
Perhaps one of the reasons I've been so long in writing is that I haven't been feeling very satisfied with the things I've been doing and haven't felt like I have anything that extraordinary to share. I mean, not in comparison to what I was up to in Zambia, that is! Coming here after the experiences I had this fall in Zambia has definitely added an interesting twist on many levels. In Zambia there were many desperate people and I was able to help people with fundamental needs like food, education, and access to medical attention. Here in Costa Rica the average person is a lot better off and there are already many programs that are effectively working on social and environmental issues. Yet I have found it extremely difficult to find a way into these organizations to the type of volunteer work I've been hoping to find. Early on I realized that this trip would be a lot more self-centered, focused more on what would be most enriching and interesting for me to do rather than how I can best contribute to the people/ situation around me. Yet even so it's been pretty tough trying to find a satisfying niche. This took me by surprise because on the surface Monteverde seems like a place overflowing with organizations working for environmental conservation, sustainable development, and social change - all things I'm so interested in learning about and working for. Yet each of these organizations has it's own internal politics and none of them are very well set up to take in and put to good use the steady flow of eager volunteers. In Zambia I was one of very few people there interested in doing what I was doing and what I had to offer was pretty unique. Here it feels like there are more people like me coming everyday. So it's been an interesting challenge being here and trying to figure out what I'd like to do and how to go about doing it.

My Remaining Month in Costa Rica
I'm actually headed out of Monteverde tomorrow morning. After spending two months here I by no means feel like I've run out of things to do or places to explore but I am getting antsy to go see some other parts of the country. I plan to spend all day tomorrow travelling by public bus (amazingly cheap and convenient) to Corcovado which is on the Osa Peninsula, in southern Costa Rica, Atlantic Coast, right near Panama. I'm going with a friend from Putney, who just happened to also be hanging around Monteverde as well, Sam Slowinski, to spend five nights in the park, camping with the scarlet macaws, tapirs, wild pigs, and monkeys! After that I think I'll head over the Caribbean side of the country, where I spent five days earlier, and visit some friends I made who live in an indigenous reserve called Bribri, near Puerto Viejo. So that should be a neat cultural experience. Yeah! I'm kinda sad to be leaving, but am super excited to be headed off to see some new places!

So that's how things are shaping up for me. I'll fly back home in mid-May, work at Camp Habitat (nature education day camp for kids - yay!) this summer, and then head to Dartmouth this September. Yikes!! I'm psyched for this remaining month, but will also be really happy to go home, though I'll definitely miss being able to go out dancing every weekend! (Ooh, you should see me. I can dance salsa, merengue, and cumbia now!!)

I hope you're all doing well in all those far-off places.
Hasta luego,
Margi